I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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