On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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