I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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