I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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