i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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