Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
