Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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