wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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