peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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