i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
