i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize