would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
