some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
