Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
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I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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