Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
