$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
