Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
