Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
wow bdsm is so cute
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
