Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
