we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
