bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
