hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
