dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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