so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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