do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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