What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
