im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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