yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
