I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
