Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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