this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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