just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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