I wish I only lived at night.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
