i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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