ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
