After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
