ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it because I queefed?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
