mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
