i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
