"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
