chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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