I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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