My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
