you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You took a bar mat shot.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
