I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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