Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
