I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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