Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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