If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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