Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
