I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
