...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
