I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
