Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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