that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
