She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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