there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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