Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
