between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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