clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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