Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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