I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
