she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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