Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
