That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
