So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
