So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
