I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
