I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
