whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
did i just pee glitter
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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