If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
